I take real issue with those who say that baking helps with their anxiety, as each time I try to see what all the fuss is about, I’m always left with an inedible batch of something which I can’t tell if it’s too under or overdone, a kitchen with flour on every available (and unavailable) surface and a tremendous amount of guilt for spending over £10 on ingredients I’ll probably not be using for a while – for the reasons I just listed. Baking, for me, is just another thing I’m not very good at, and attempting to do it is nothing but a reminder of that.
However, I have come to the understanding that a skill is something you have to work for, not something that will come to you if you moan about it enough – much to my dismay. So I, Laura Dennison, am prepared to give baking another chance, and allow dough, desserts and sweets the opportunity to soothe my mental angst through their making process, rather than trusting in the finished product alone and its sugary, medicinal properties.
With this refurbished new chapter within my culinary repertoire, comes a curiosity for attempting something I have never before – baking brownies. Hand me a gluey, stodgy slab of chocolate brownie over an energy bar any day. No, make that every day. They are the perfect snack food, the perfect ‘pick you up’ when you’ve have a shit day, the perfect accompaniment to your tea and the most joyous after dinner pud, especially when doused in piping hot, thick vanilla custard. It’s also worth paying homage to the humble brownie’s affordability, and thank all the Gods you don’t believe in that something so perfect can be available at such minimal cost to so many. Given my self-confessed “working man’s food palate”, I feel that to learn to make the perfect brownies, and to stock up on the simple ingredients needed to make them, is a worthwhile investment even for a rogue baker like me.
Staying true to my palate, I decided to embellish the standard chocolate brownie recipe I found on multiple sources through Google with Milky Bar (a favourite of mine) – a bar not even considered chocolate under EU law due to its low cocoa percentage, not that I’ve ever given a shit about that.
Making these brownies taught me a number of things:
1. It always helps to have your friend on stand-by for Instagram story purposes.
2. I should have used a shallower, wider tray to cook my brownies, to ensure even cooking.
3. Don’t put your brownies back in the oven after adding the white chocolate decoration because you realised they were raw when you went to bite into them…the chocolate on top will burn and your tray will end up looking dreadful.
With all that in mind, here is my messy Milky Bar brownies recipe, and in case the above list put you off at all, please know that they tasted fucking good in the end.
(Serves 10-12)
Ingredients:
200g dark chocolate
100g plain flour
30g cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder
100g butter
250g brown sugar
4 eggs
Half a sharing bar of Milky Bar chocolate
1 sharing bag of Milky Bar buttons
How to:
1. Pre-heat the oven to 180 degrees celcius.
2. Melt the dark chocolate and butter together in the microwave – or in a bain marie, if you are posh – then allow to cool to room temperature.
3. Whisk lightly the eggs and brown sugar together. Sieve in the plain flour, baking powder and cocoa powder, then whisk altogether.
4. Add the cooled butter and chocolate mixture, then stir to create a glossy, thick mixture. Mix in the entire bag of Milky Bar buttons somewhat.
5. Into a baking tray (I used a 21cm x 21cm one, but learn from my mistakes and go wider) lined with parchment paper, pour in the batter.
6. Bake for 30-35 minutes until the top cracks and you can stick in a cocktail stick and pull out some crumbs, not sticky batter. Check on your brownies as you go to check they won’t be overdone.
7. Allow to cool once cooked. Melt the half sharing bar of Milky Bar in the microwave – or over a bain marie, if you are posh – then coat however you like over your brownies.
