Not Plant Based

5 THINGS TO EAT OTHER THAN KIM KARDASHIAN’S MEAL REPLACEMENT SHAKE

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I love the Kardashians. I do. They’ve entertained me through many a hangover, and I’ve occasionally been known to dwell on each of their Instagram accounts, wondering what my life would be like if I had as much money as they do. I love how business-minded they are, how proud of their sexuality they are, and how they are all women (sorry Rob). However, I’m afraid shiny, white teeth and confusingly conditioned hair just aren’t enough to distract from the amount I disagree with their ethics when it comes to promoting various diet plans and methods for losing weight.

It seems strange to me that these women are willing to pioneer exercising in modern corsets marketed as “waist trainers”; to pose next to “skinny teas” which are essentially laxatives in fine paper bags; and most recently for Kim to suggest her fans replace a meal with a shake. A drink… It’s stranger still that even though these photos are (now!) clearly hashtagged with #ad, Instagram users are falling over themselves to buy these products in a bid to look like women they are not genetically designed to look like…or rather, women they can’t afford to get the surgery to look like.

Let’s take a look at Kim’s latest #ad Instagram post: “#ad Fuelling up with my @flattummyco meal replacement shake before getting my workout done today. You guys need to do yourselves a favour and get on these Shakes because I’ve been seeing some seriously good results.”

The thing that worries me most here, is that nowhere in this caption is there any sort of dietary warning, or age restriction, despite Flat Tummy Co stating on their website: “You should consult your doctor before using the products offered on the Site, or any dietary supplement.” Kim’s fans span from all ages, but in particular are young girls who are vulnerable to wanting to manipulate their body. Call me old fashioned, but I strongly disagree with inviting pre-teens (and anyone else for that matter) to skip a meal or two in favour of a weight loss shake.

Secondly, where is the causality? Kim says that she’s “been seeing some seriously good results”, but how do we know that? When did she start drinking them even? Kim always looks fantastic, how can we tell that by buying this drink, we too will look this way? These singular posts for such products are an indication that the promoter is not hugely interested in the product itself…but in the money made from the #ad.

Despite feeling nauseous when reading something that describes me as “babe” by someone I don’t know, I read what Flat Tummy Co had to say about the shake Kim is holding: “Need to add a bit of self control, babe? Our Shake It Baby program is where it’s at. With clinically studied Super Citrimax, our Shake It Baby program is 3 x more effective than diet and exercise alone. Yep, we’re going to help you get to where you wanna be. Looking good, feeling fiiine and rocking it like the 12/10 that you are. Oh, and did we mention it comes in two freaking delicious flavours? #yesway.”

Fgs. I’m not about to delve into Super Citrimax studies, but I will comment on the claim that the “Shake It Baby program is 3 x more effective than diet and exercise alone”. By ‘effective’, I suppose they mean how they can help you lose weight, which I am not denying. Replacing one or two meals a day with a drink will of course cause you to lose weight, due to the calorie deficit. You don’t need a dietitian to tell you that. But, as someone who has embarked on many a crash diet, I can tell you now that the headaches, lack of energy and the mental state you will be in as a result of, well, starving yourself just isn’t worth the flat tummy. Babe.

Also, their 4 Week Program £50.77 GBP????!!!! When reduced?

Here are 5 other things you can eat, instead of Kim’s meal replacement shake:

1. Langoustine and samphire risotto.

2. In-N-Out cheeseburger meal.

3. Bacon and egg breakfast brioche.

4. Bread Ahead doughnuts.

5. Fish, chips and curry sauce.