Usually, I’m not one to support forms of entertainment which shamelessly flaunt (painfully gorgeous) women in minimal clothing in order to satisfy a nation of mindless viewers. However year after year, I make an exception. For all it’s shallow, crude connotations, I have fallen head over heels in love with Love Island. There you go, I said it. Sorry mum. Although this year I didn’t feel as conflicted as I have done previously, as it appeared as though not all of the contestants searching for a shag – sorry, *love* – on the Spanish island were completely void of a brain. In fact, a handful of the girls in particular turned out to be pretty kick ass. Feminist Camilla, for instance, custard-pied spluttering Johnny for his pre-historic views about women (‘er, don’t we have equality already though?’ he asked. Poor lad) and economics graduate Montana…well…SHE ATE.
It might not seem like much, but when the rest of the scantily clad string beans seemingly go an entire summer without so much as a packet of Snack a Jacks and spend their days in the make-shift outdoor gym, it’s like stumbling on a diamond amongst a sea of disgustingly ripped pebbles. The 22-year-old ate so much in fact, that it became the talk of the tabloid headlines. Because, a woman? Eating? OMG terrorism!! SEND IN THE TROOPS! ALERT JAMIE OLIVER! Whilst it saddens me that a young woman eating on telly is even a ‘thing’, it also delighted me, mostly because I knew that young, impressionable mini-me would be watching and my god could she do with a role model who exhibited positive, healthy eating behaviours.
‘I was just like, “hell yeah, free crisps!”‘, she tells me when we speak on the phone. ‘I genuinely do eat all day everyday so that’s what I did on the show – cereal, carrot sticks, crisps; I was eating all of it.’ The Hertfordshire-born beaut finds her fellow Love Islanders’ reluctance to munch freely just as baffling as I do. ‘I don’t know why no one else was,’ she says, ‘it’s annoying because when you do see girls in bikinis eating or drinking they are just sipping out of a coconut straw. I did one gym session while I was there. I’d look over at them working out whilst I was lying in the sun, chilling and munching on my crisps. I did not care one bit.
‘The girls on the show would fight to the death for a glass of wine,’ she continues, ‘but I was much more focused on the food.’ The truthfulness in her voice is so sincere I could cry. No heirs and graces, no falsities or BooTea-flogging agenda, Montana Brown is 100 per cent on the side of food; even over and above her trim tummy. ‘I want to put on about a stone or a stone and a half, and maybe keep a diary of it, to show other girls that it’s okay to gain weight. Give me a belly and bigger boobs any day, I genuinely don’t care.’ And she actually doesn’t.
What she does care about, however, are the thousands of girls who message her everyday revealing inner most feelings about troubled relationships with food, their bodies and their sense of self. Such messages have had such an impact on her, that she was thrilled when I got in touch.
‘I really want to reply to all of them,’ she assures me, ‘but I just don’t know what to say. I was so happy when you asked me to chat because I really want to do something to help.
‘Eating disorders are such a big issue at the moment and I have so many young girls that follow me and I am so aware of that. I get girls saying they have eating disorders, and seeing me eat on screen made them feel they could eat too. Young girls think they have to be a certain size because everyone insists on editing their pictures. But everyone is so beautiful in their own way and there’s so many forms of beautiful – I just wish more young people knew it.’
“WOMEN SHOULD SAY F**K IT AND EAT WHAT THEY WANT”
I know what you’re thinking. It’s alright for her to say; flawless, toned, curves-in-all-the-right-places Montana. The sometimes telly presenter may be considered ‘perfect’ now, but rest assured, she’s had to go through all the same self esteem shit as me and you. ‘I’d always get second helpings at school,’ she admits, ‘ and I was a little chubster.
‘I had really afro hair and I didn’t wash it for weeks at a time. I went through a spotty phase and I’d always wear my skirt below the knee when everyone else would hike theirs up. I was not an attractive child.’ I tell her that I appreciate her effort, but I somehow find that hard to believe.
‘No! I promise,’ she insists, ‘and then, in my first year of uni, I couldn’t afford stuffed vegetables or whatever, so I was having a Subway on the way home from nights out and drinking every night. I put on a lot of weight and ended up a bit more apple shaped.’ A nightmare, you’d presume for this wannabe reality tv star… ‘It didn’t bother me at all,’ she says candidly. ‘I was like, okay I’m a big bigger so I just have to buy size 12 jeans. I was so happy and I was having so much fun.’
Then Love Island came along and, predictably, the self-confessed carb lover adopted a fitness and diet regime to get her feeling ‘confident’ enough to face the entire nation wearing nothing more than Boohoo’s finest two-piece. I resist the temptation to comment on the tragedy of a society that endorses women changing their body shape (we only had an hour and pretty sure Montana had much better things to do) and ask – with bated breath – of the presumed restriction and five hour runs that were required in the lead up to the show. ‘Obviously I wasn’t eating spaghetti everyday,’ she admits, ‘for a few months I was spinning in the morning and gymming in the evening. That was about it, and it was only because I didn’t want to worry about what I looked like on TV.’ Fair enough…some people even like exercise, I guess (?)
‘But, sometimes,’ she continues, ‘I have weeks where I’ll have chocolate bars everyday, or don’t go to the gym because I’m really tired. Sometimes I work-out for 15 minutes and feel I’m not in the mood so I go home. I’d be better off getting an early night than thinking about getting in better shape.’
Montana’s sense of self-assurance is certainly inspiring, and makes me mourn the confident streak I never quite managed to foster. Even now, being thrust into the public eye; with every outfit, pimple and thigh rub under scrutiny, she stands by her simple philosophy; F**k the haters. ‘Trolls always comment on pictures of me like; “oh my god she’s bloated”, but yes…I can be bloated, it’s normal. No one looks perfect 100 per cent of the time and if I did, I’d be worried.’ Surely, when the comments are especially cruel, it must hurt a bit? ‘Sometimes I think I don’t like that picture of me,’ she finally admits, ‘but then it’s one picture. How many times do you take a picture for Instagram – it’s about 10! I’m not the sort of person to get upset about that; I just think that the only thing that matters is your best friends and your family – other than that, who cares?’
“I AM NOT DATING JOEY ESSEX, FOR GOD’S SAKE”
Which leads me onto the topic of boys. One of the reasons I fell a little in love with the serial muncher (aside from said serial/cereal munching, ofc) was for her unapologetic, no BS attitude to men. Montana – who last year gave a speech to MPs about sudden cardiac arrest following the death of her best friend – spent much of the ITV series trying on a couple of illiterate vest-wearers for size, before very quickly realising she deserved far better than a meat-head who doesn’t understand tax codes. Until, that is, the lovely Alex walked into the villa and swept Mon off her feet; rescuing her from the clammy grasp of neanderthal f**k boys. Well, not really. The pair lasted a few weeks after the show ended, until Alex went back to Newcastle (after allegedly demanding viagra from a rogue photographer outside a London nightclub) and Montana miraculously managed to get on with her life without her flaccid boyfriend prepping her up on his white horse ( aka 2011 BMW with blacked out windows…probably). Let’s be honest, if you’re after this kick-ass, goddess, you’ve got to be pretty darn special.
‘As girls, we need to realise that there is a certain standard and a certain way men should be speaking to us,’ she tells me when I ask how she deals with the f**k boys that inevitably approach her. ‘If a guy is even mentioning your weight as part of a decision of whether they like you or not, they’re obviously a shit bloke.’ Somebody give her a dating column.
Montana’s love life has done it’s rounds on the rumour mill over the past couple of weeks. According to the very reliable press, she’s enjoyed romances with X Factor star Matt Terry, Snoop Dogg’s son, Cordell Broadus, and the most laughable given her intellectual capacity…Joey Essex. I MEAN, COME ONNNNN.
But, according to our Mon, the red-top headlines couldn’t be more wrong. She’s just about done with that public relationship life. ‘In our world,’ she says – referring to #showbiz – ‘boys have so many more choices, so it’s much more competitive. There’s so much pressure on relationships that are in the public eye, I wouldn’t do that again.’
For now, a new, more subtle romance seems to be serving her well – according to reports, she’s dating model, Elliott Reeder.
‘Now, I’m with someone who is not in the public eye, it keeps me with a sense of what is normal. As long as you communicate, it’s totally fine.’ And does that include communicating about compromising pictures involving Joey Essex?
‘OH MY GOD!’ she shrieks, ‘I was like, no! Of course not! I just messaged him as soon as those pictures were taken and told him that obviously nothing had happened and he was totally fine. It’s much easier to be honest and open.’ I’m praying that her new bae is the decent chap she hails him to be, and won’t put pressure on the #influencer to undergo any sort of plumping injection. A peruse of last year’s Love Island stars makes you wonder what on earth happened in a year on the fame train to make them feel the need to ‘fix’ themselves. Not for Montana.
‘You can always do better in this weird world,’ she explains, ‘if you’re not happy with you’re nose, you can get sponsored nose jobs, or sponsored lipo. That’s why it’s so important to just be happy with what you have and in your own skin. I’d never fall down that trap because I know someone is going to love me for me and it won’t matter what I look like so much.’ Thank goodness someone in the social media influencer sphere is speaking some sense.
After 45 minutes on the phone to Montana, I forget I’m interviewing a celeb of some sort, and veer into gal pal territory. I literally could be catching up with any one of my close girlfriends. This becomes especially apparent when we get onto her favourite subject…food. I ask if she’s jumping on the vegan hype. ‘Oh my god, not everyone only wants to eat lentils!’ she’s incandescent. ‘If someone is going on about being vegan I just roll my eyes. Thank you very much for your advice on my diet but it’s not for me, I’m not going to be vegan.’
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As for 5’2; Keto; Paleo e.t.c, let’s just say we’re on the same page. ‘People think if you eat cake and meat you will die. It’s just ridiculous – and it’s not realistic. Some people may enjoy eating those trendy diets but I would really struggle. Sometimes I just want to come home, have a chinese takeaway and watch TV.’
Montana – who, like me, ends every girls’ night out with a pit-stop to McDonald”s – generally sticks to ‘a good mix of carbs, fruit, veg and protein’ whilst making damn sure she ‘enjoys herself’ on the weekend. The Pretty Little Thing Ambassador points to her 89-year-old grandma as a prime example of the true definition of ‘healthy eating’.
‘My grandparents eat total shit,’ she begins, ‘baked goods, biscuits – my nan has three sugars in her tea and she is still here. Fourty years ago we didn’t have nearly as much information or research about healthy diets and people still survived to like 100 – look at the Queen!’ She makes a good point.
‘I hate all the messages that say we shouldn’t be having cake. Especially as women, we should be like f**k it and eat what we want,’ she’s on a roll now. ‘We are so forced to think about what is healthy, what we look like and what’s good and bad for you, but happiness is so important too.
‘I’d rather be happy and eat what I want than be miserable and hungry because I’ve just had spinach and lentils for lunch.’
If phone high-fives were a thing, I’d be slapping her up good and proper (not in a weird way). ‘For most people,’ she’s not done yet…,’they have a nine to five job and they’ve got to impress their boss; get a promotion; stay at work until 7pm. It’s enough pressure, and food should not be one of them.’
On that note, since all the ‘rules’ are well and truly out the window, what’s she having for dinner? ‘Ideally, I’d have Gamberoni to start – which is prawns in a white wine sauce, and some bread. Then I’d have something with pasta, because I LOVE pasta. I’d have a carbonara, but a really good one.’ She hesitates, then suddenly explodes with excitement. ‘Oh god no, I want macaroni cheese! I want that instead. Then for dessert it’s got to be creme brûlée.’
The fangirl inside gets the better of me, and I overzealously offer to take her to Shoreditch House to experience their ultimate Mac & Cheese. Suddenly I’m 15 again and shitting myself after asking the popular girl for a chewing gum. The girl hangs out with Joey Essex ffs, Eve, why would she want to steal free apples in Shoreditch House with you?
‘OMG YES, I WOULD LOVE TO. GIVE ME A DATE AND I’M THERE,’ she shouts.
Soz Joey, Monny’s got a new BFF.