How To Cope With Lockdown If You’ve Had an Eating Disorder

If you’ve ever encountered an eating disorder or felt nervous about weight gain (so literally anyone whose been on Instagram…ever) then I bet I can guess your nightmare situation.

Your friends are flooding your social media feed with jovial snaps of themselves enjoying an entire basket of baked goods, whilst every other TV programme features Jamie Oliver making you crave  pastry.
Meanwhile, you’re stuck inside your four walls, forced to consciously shoehorn physical activity into your daily routine. Kayla Itnes is EVERYWHERE. Most of your unusually lucid dreams now take place inside Joe Wicks’ space room. Have you thrown a shoe at the screen yet? Good. Don’t – or at least wait until you’ve finished reading. If you haven’t already noticed where I’m going with this, I am of course talking about the situation right here, right now.

Granted, we are not the only ones suffering. For those who are affected by coronavirus it is nothing short of terrifying – and my thoughts are with the tens of thousands facing financial turmoil over the coming weeks.
Not to mention our remarkable NHS staff whom I continue to crudely woop (alone) in celebration of every Thursday evening. But us ED survivors aren’t having the time of our lives here either. Quite the opposite in fact.

Luckily, I’m not doing too badly. Thankfully, global lockdown came about at a time when I’m two and a half years out of treatment and happily eating everything, all the time. I’m more recovered than I’ve ever been and my weight is more than healthy – and stable. Whilst three years ago seeing everyone hop about like idiots to Joe Wicks every morning would make me think it illegal not to do the same, now, I’ll happily laugh at his stupid hair whilst eating a breakfast bagel. Growth, I call it.

And yet, there have still been moments over the past two weeks when seeds of self-punishment have begun germinating in my brain. Move more, they tell me. Eat healthier, they say. Both messages which, you might think, are pretty sensible in a situation whereby most people’s commute has been reduced to the 50 yards between the bedroom and kitchen. Indeed, these are precisely the public health messages that health chiefs plaster on to billboards and leaflets. But those of us who have lived through this dragon of an illness know that said simple message will never, in fact, be simple. With every public service announcement about the importance of daily ‘exercise’, or that annoying girl from work’s morning workout belfie, the nagging voices dial up a notch. There’s an invisible heaviness accumulating just above your shoulders and a constant threat that one day, it will fall. And that’s just the ones who have survived it, never mind the million-ish who are actively going through it.  The UK’s biggest eating disorder charity Beat reported a 30 per cent rise in the number of calls to their helpline at the beginning of lockdown. I dread to think what the figures are today.
Australia’s leading eating disorder charity is facing a similar struggle. According to the manager of The Butterfly Foundation Juliette Thomson, the phone support service has been ‘inundated’ with calls from helpless individuals.

Already scarce counselling sessions will have been delayed – or switched to sub-standard FaceTime calls which, let’s be honest, never have the same impact. All the while every Tom, Dick and Harry, it seems, is living their best lockdown life – baking the sourdough brownies, perfecting the cocktails and actually enjoying an 8am kettle bell workout. So why am I writing this? Things are shit, we get it.

I guess the point is three-fold. First, I’d like to take the opportunity to address any policy makers/people who have the power to make any decisions that mean something. Yes, they are of course reading this.
Ease up on the exercise stuff, okay? It’s good for most people, yes, but there’s 1 millon (probably more) for whom it is a literal spike between the eyes. And 1 million is not an insignificant number.  Throw us a bone please. If there’s anyone who you know who may be struggling with these issues and just so happens to be following you on Instagram, maybe think again before you post your 10 minute abs routine. Yes, even that can make a disastrous difference. Or at the very least, ruin someone’s hour. Don’t be a dick.

Secondly, I want to add that if it’s any consolation, you are not alone. Know that millions others are batting away the same self loathing thoughts you are and are equally clueless about how best to deal with them. I have taken comfort in the knowledge of just how extraordinary these current circumstances are. It is nothing we have ever known or seen that hasn’t been created by a Hollywood director. No wonder we’re, for want of a better word, shook. It is normal to feel abnormal. But things will go back to normal, eventually.

Next, I’d like to impart five pieces of factual information (not thoughts) that may help you sit with the uneasiness. Write them on the back of your hand or a post-it or whatever – maybe stick it on the back of the spice cupboard. Remember facts win over thoughts.

1. The weight you will gain during the lockdown period will not make any meaningful difference to your health or the way others see you, physically.
   *This clearly does not apply to those who are critically underweight and adhering to a medically appropriate weight gain programme.
2. Eating disorders are a health issue. If you have one – or have suffered with one – no run of the mill health lifestyle advice will apply to you. It is exactly this reason why every healthcare professional you see will require you to declare it – the condition guides your treatment. Advice given to the masses about diet and exercise is therefore irrelevant.
3. Sitting still for long periods of time over the next few months will have very little – if any – meaningful effect on your long-term health.
4. This situation – and whatever you are feeling right now this second – will pass.
5. No one died from deciding not doing a Joe Wicks workout. Ever. People have died from doing too many workouts and eating too little food.

Otherwise, I shall reiterate last week’s message from the experts – now is NOT the time to be restricting your diet. If anything, we need to be as well fed as possible if we stand any chance of beating this prick of a virus. Whether it’s looking after the desperately ill, providing vital supplies to the public or delivering care packages to vulnerable people – no one does a good job on an empty stomach. And that’s another fact for your collection.